Current mood:

determined to finish the fish

great lemon taste?
Drinking Snake Fish Oil: How clever marketing tricked me into wasting $25

My doctor instructed me to take fish oil for its alleged ability to improve one's mood. Sadly, taking the capsules led to the dreaded "fish burp" people so frequently lament about on internet forums. I purchased some with an enuretic coating when they were on sale. They worked great, but cost over twice as much as their non-coated brethren. Determined to save some $$$, I waited months for them to go on sale again. Frustrated, I finally decided to pay retail at the local hippie natural foods store.

What happened next was a horrible lapse of judgment I blame on low blood sugar.

While browsing the products, I came across Nordic Naturals Omega-3 Liquid. Yes, liquid. Not in capsules. Liquid. As in, you drink it. No coating whatsoever, not even a plain gelatin capsule to let you swallow it down without tasting it. Liquid. Pure liquid oil.

The bottle, however, featured a convincing graphic with a lemon and the text, “great lemon taste.” An employee vouched for the “great lemon taste,” proudly announcing that he takes 3 times the recommended amount ever day. He went on to describe exactly how he consumes such high amounts, mimicking the use of a giant spoon and clarifying that he does not have to drink anything afterwards to “wash it down.” No juice, no water, nothing. Just a “great lemon taste” lingering in his mouth for a few seconds, and he's done. He also threw in a bit about the company’s dedication to environmentally responsible practices.

I was sold. $25 later, I had my bottle of liquid oil and an angry wife claiming I wasted my money on what would surely taste like fish. She was not at all convinced by the lemon graphic. I repeated the sales pitch that convinced me to try it and got out my own giant spoon to prove her wrong.

Oh my god it was awful. It was an oily, lemony, fishy explosion in my mouth. Now when I burped, I felt like a seal who drank a can of Pledge®. Unable to bear such gustatorial abuse, I abandoned my hopes of finishing the bottle 6 days later. The bottle continues to reside in my fridge, taunting me every time I search for something to eat. I will start to throw it away, but keep it due to the guilt of wasting money and fish.

Today, I came up with an idea. Why not make fish cubes in the freezer? I bet I could get them far enough back in my throat to minimize the chance of tasting before swallowing. I am going to search for a suitable container to experiment with (a regular ice cube tray is way too big). Keep your fingers crossed for me, kind readers.