| Writer's Block: Cookies |
[04 Feb 2009|11:42pm] |
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mood |
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 reflective |
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I still have the slip of paper in my wallet: Alas! The onion you are eating is someone else's water lily.
I saved it in 2001 on the same day I got another fortune, Don't be afraid to take that big step, which struck me as very meaningful at the time--it was at a farewell lunch with some coworkers celebrating my move to Lawrence and enrollment at KU. I just saved the onion one because I thought it was funny.
There ended up being a lot of unexpected "big steps" I had to take over the next year, and in many aspects it was the most miserable year of my life. Trying to make sense of everything, I finally got the onion fortune--someone else's life sucks even worse, so be grateful for what you have.
I sometimes think about it when I'm depressed. It helps put things in perspective in a count your blessings type of way. Also, I love that it starts with Alas!...how can that not cheer you up?
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| Chinese New Year |
[01 Feb 2009|12:08am] |
We went to a Chinese New Year celebration today. The parade included fireworks, dancing dragons, and lucky candy. I love fireworks, dragons, and candy.
My favorite part was immediately after the parade when the businesses hung lettuce over their doors like mistletoe. The dragon roamed the streets with its entourage of men beating various noise-making objects. When it encountered a business door, it approached with curiosity, sniffed around a bit more, and then proceeded to messily chomp down the lettuce. Well, actually it spit the lettuce out and consumed only the red, money-containing envelope nestled in the middle of the greens.
Next the dragon went into the business for a while. I'm not sure what occurred inside, but outside in the doorway the drum beating was supplemented by firecrackers thrown into the doorway. Eventually it returned and the procession continued to the next doorway. The Chinese know how to party it up--much more exciting than watching a stupid ball fall down in Times Square.
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| Iced beverages: good / iced water: sometimes bad |
[30 Jan 2009|06:24pm] |
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mood |
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 nostalgic |
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I'm for really real going to try to write in this more again. For real.
Right now the city is on some kind of water-conservation alert. I guess the pipes that get water out of Lake Michigan have frozen over so they are unable to get enough water into the water processing plant. Seeing how it gets FUCKING COLD* here every winter, it seems like they should have had this figured out by now. Currently, you can't do any laundry or dishes or other water-consuming things that are not necessary to sustain life, or the city will hunt you down and yell at you for using too much water. I had been debating the merits of showering today, but this tips the scale toward stink-fest.
The city also suggested citizens "draw and store drinking water before going to bed tonight" as "weather forecasts indicate that conditions will remain optimal for ice formation to reoccur for the next several days." I started gathering vessels to "draw and store" water in, and found I am entirely unprepared for a disaster. Even our camping supplies fall short as we always go places that have a water spigot nearby. My mom used to buy me cases of bottled water as gifts, instructing me that one should always have bottled water on hand in case something happens to the municipal water source. I ignored her good advice, choosing to greedily consume all the water within a few weeks. After a few years of this cycle, I heard a story on NPR about the environmental/social consequences of people in the US buying bottled water and swore to never drink it again. I started keeping the bottled water from my mom in the trunk of my car to avoid temptation. Ultimately this led to the water tasting so horrible (who knows what chemicals leeched into it?) that it was thrown away after a few years, which is actually quite a bit sadder than if I had just drank it.
Anyway, the point of all this is that I now see the value in having some bottled water hanging out in my pantry. The only things to drink in there now are some cans of V8, a bottle of vinegar, a jar of spaghetti sauce, and some olive oil.
At least I have some items for storing drinking water, including 3 Nalgene bottles, 2 half-gallon empty milk jars, 1 Brita pitcher, and 1 stock pot. I think that will be more than enough because I don’t think the city will really run out of water anyway. I'm an optimist like that.
*Seriously, it is cold, a lot colder than Kansas. Anyone who tells you otherwise is either a lying sack of dog poop or recovering from head trauma that caused memory loss. A few people who had lived both places told us the weather "isn't that much different." I am unsure what category they fell into...maybe both.
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| The election |
[05 Nov 2008|01:46am] |
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mood |
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 hopeful |
] |
What a relief tonight--I still can't quite believe it really happened.
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| Dexter at the Dog Beach |
[31 Oct 2008|09:51pm] |
Dexter stands on the edge of Lake Michigan on this unusually warm Halloween.
There are photos of him dressed up like a jack-o-lanturn uploaded to flickr too, but this pic was my favorite from the day.
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| Introducing Dexter! |
[28 Sep 2008|09:50pm] |
This is our new puppy. When we picked him up, he looked like a muppet due to severe neglect (there's some nasty mats underneath all those cute curls). His first haircut revealed that he is actually a poodle.
Right now we are working on (a) fattening him up (he weighs 9.6 lbs and should be at least 13), (b) teaching him to kennel on command, and (c) assuring him that the world is not all dangerous and scary and what-not. Progress is as follows:
(a) He is a finicky eater so fattening him up has been difficult. We made some fancy concoction out of raw hamburger, oats, pumpkin, gelatin, and molasses...he likes that a lot, but it causes some nasty dog farts. The vet gave him some paste that is designed to stimulate the appetite of anorexic cats. Gross. He also likes cheese and hot dogs, but I question the nutritional value of both.
(b) He remains wary of the kennel, but does not whine excessively.
(c) His tail used to be tucked in between his legs constantly, and now it is out around 80% of the time...not bad progress for one week.
We are also working on peeing outside the house, but that has made a recent regression...thank god we don't have carpet.
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| The successful arrival to my destination |
[18 Sep 2008|04:12am] |
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mood |
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 here (as opposed to there) |
] |
I live in Evanston now--the people who live here enjoy pointing out that it is NOT CHICAGO because it's better than ANYWHERE ELSE ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH SO THERE!!! Whatever, we live 5 blocks from Chicago. Evanston does have much nicer trees than any of the surrounding communities though, so I guess that's something to brag about.
I plan to write a more substantial update in the near future. Maybe it will even have pictures or something. No music, though, because I hate when websites have music.
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| Writer's Block: Your Invention... |
[14 Aug 2008|10:53pm] |
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mood |
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 awake when I shouldn't be |
] |
I want a device that works like a microwave, only instead of heating things up really fast it would make things cold. Imagine the instant gratification of making ice cubes in 30 seconds. I mean, really, there is nothing better than an iced beverage with a straw. Also, portable models with European power adaptors would be available--never again would an American suffer through the unpleasant task of drinking a sort-of cold beverage.
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| Move over turkey baster, now is the era of the popsicle! |
[05 Aug 2008|01:17am] |
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mood |
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 here |
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Many things have happened, but I should be sleeping instead of typing this, so we’ll see how far I get. To my surprise, my supervisor commented on how tired I looked today given the “black circles” under my eyes. It caught me off guard for several reasons, but the most disturbing one is that I had no clue. I don’t know what I’ll do when I don’t work with someone who feels comfortable telling me about my shoddy appearance. Tomorrow morning, I’m breaking out the concealer!
I had a two week vacation. To kick it off, I went to Colorado for my grandmother’s 80th birthday party. My plane had little TVs on the back of each seat. Had our flight been long enough, I might have decided one of the shitty movie options was worth $4. Instead, I watched a map of where our plane was interrupted by advertisements, including several about adopting frozen embryos. There is an entire Embryo Adoption Awareness Campaign so that good god-fearin’ folk can rescue all the frozen children (byproducts from other couples’ in vetro fertilization). Why adopt from the child welfare system when you can simply make a kid from a popsicle?
Having the little screen made the flight more tolerable. I strongly dislike flying, but seeing that little map was the equivalent of watching the doctor stick me with the needle (I also do not like flu shots). Somehow knowing what’s coming makes it easier to tolerate.
Seeing my extended family went much better than expected, so that was nice. I rode back to Kansas with my parents and found that an English setter makes a decent pillow once you smash her into submission. As soon as I returned, Maureen and I packed/cleaned nonstop. Oh wait, I did stop to get a temporary crown put on my decay-ridden tooth. Nothing says fun vacation memories like moving and dental work! Our things are now in storage and I am living out of a suitcase in Anne’s sweet-ass pad with cable and lots of scented lotion to try. Right now, I smell like a jasmine flower freshly fucked by a vanilla bean.
I went canoeing too, but am too tired to talk about it. Plus, there might be pictures later which would make the post oh so much more interesting. Unlike this post that kind-of sucked. And has sentence fragments. Also, lots of coma splices, because commas are my best friend.
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| Let me see your grill. You wanna see my WHAT? |
[12 Jul 2008|04:31pm] |
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mood |
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 missing Maureen |
] |
I really wrote this on Monday night, but accidentially made it private instead of friends-only so now it's showing up on July 12 instead of July 7.
My car hit 111111 miles today. I took a picture of the odometer with my cell phone. Ah, the little things in life that please me.
I went in for the yearly physical/pap today. It always seems like my doctor is more uncomfortable with the pap smear process than me. He makes this big deal about helping me stay completely covered (the gown is pretty short, so they put a blanket over my tummy/legs). Last year the blanket fell down a bit, exposing my stomach, and he apologized like 5 times. I thought, “You’re going to be looking at my vagina in a few minutes, why the hell would I care if you see my stomach?” Maybe I should say something like that out loud to try and lighten the mood a bit.
I also went to the dentist. If I had a choice between the dentist and a pap smear, I’d drop my pants with no hesitation. I have to get a crown on a cracked tooth--this will involve approximately 90 minutes of having my jaw hinged open (much worse than 10 minutes of having my snatch hinged apart). I have a few weeks to decide if I want to go with gold or porcelain for my crown. Both cost about the same, so money won’t influence the decision. Here’s a breakdown of the pros/cons:
Gold | Porcelain |
Durability superior to porcelain
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Will have to replace sooner than gold
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Less tooth is shaved off to make room for the crown
| More tooth is shaved off, and that tooth is already pretty fucked up...if I’m going to lose it someday, it would be nice to have as much of it in my mouth as long as possible...unless they would let me take the shavings home in a baby food jar to treasure forever (I still have all my baby teeth in a little wooden box cause I’m cool like that) |
I will have a gold tooth, but it is far in the back so I don’t know how much it will really show
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No one will ever know it is there (unless they’ve read this journal entry)
| One step closer to getting a grill |
Does not look good w/diamonds embedded in it
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Maybe I’ll get some of that putty people use to make missing teeth when dressing as hobos for Halloween, slap it on the cracked tooth, and use it as a judge on how much the crown will actually show. I welcome any feedback from those who have crowns.
On a non-health-related note, Maureen has been out of town almost two weeks now to help her mom recover from surgery. It sucks.
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| Rancid chocolate |
[18 May 2008|01:37am] |
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mood |
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 disappointed |
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Thanks to my cell phone, I have a newfound respect for the technologically challenged (aka old people and my friend Nichole). I upgraded to a blue ice* LG Chocolate from Verizon’s online store. I hadn’t actually used this model of phone, but remembered all the fancy commercials when it came out. Plus, it was one of the most expensive ones they offered for free** so I figured it was a good pick.
Oh how I was wrong. It has this horrid little wheel with a tiny “OK” button in the middle (roughly the size of an iPod designed for a garden gnome). If you graze the little wheel when trying to say “OK,” it’s likely to move to another menu selection nanoseconds before you give the phone your (now wrong) “OK” to do something. Also, there’s four buttons that are so sensitive to touch you don’t have to actually push down. They’re pretty neat, but if you accidentally touch one with another part of your hand while trying to use the stupid little wheel/OK control it fucks everything up. As I programmed in numbers, the excitement of having a fun new toy slowly drained away...I longed for the days of my old, simple phone...the days when buttons were just buttons.
I couldn’t help but recall an ad routinely run in The Nation for a phone that offers the “comfort” of a “familiar dial tone” to people who just can’t manage the technological leap from land line to cellular. Maybe I’ll switch to one just to spite those Chocolate-mongering bastards at Verizon...or maybe I’ll give the new phone a try for a few days. If it doesn’t work out, I guess I’ll try to exchange it or sell it on eBay.
In more important news, Maureen finished her master’s degree and was hooded today. Hoods look so weird.
*apparently they don’t care about giving them cute flavor names that are actual chocolate flavors anymore
**if you consider signing a 2-year contract in exchange as free
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| Update #200080401.2231 |
[01 Apr 2008|10:31pm] |
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mood |
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 itchy (not bitchy) |
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My allergies are either getting worse and worse and worse, or I have something like a chronic mild case of the mumps. I’m pretty sure it’s allergies since it gets somewhat better with an antihistamine. My throat feels so itchy I’m tempted to stab a brillo pad with a pencil and scratch around in there.
Today was the first day my job switched over to our paperless medical records system. Call me old fashioned, but I felt somewhat defeated that I did not have a small stack of dead tree to prove I did something useful with my day. They’ve been telling us new launch dates for the past 1.5 years...I was a little surprised they actually went through with it on April Fools’ Day.
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| great lemon taste? |
[27 Dec 2007|03:33pm] |
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mood |
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 determined to finish the fish |
] |
Drinking Snake Fish Oil: How clever marketing tricked me into wasting $25
My doctor instructed me to take fish oil for its alleged ability to improve one's mood. Sadly, taking the capsules led to the dreaded "fish burp" people so frequently lament about on internet forums. I purchased some with an enuretic coating when they were on sale. They worked great, but cost over twice as much as their non-coated brethren. Determined to save some $$$, I waited months for them to go on sale again. Frustrated, I finally decided to pay retail at the local hippie natural foods store.
What happened next was a horrible lapse of judgment I blame on low blood sugar.
While browsing the products, I came across Nordic Naturals Omega-3 Liquid. Yes, liquid. Not in capsules. Liquid. As in, you drink it. No coating whatsoever, not even a plain gelatin capsule to let you swallow it down without tasting it. Liquid. Pure liquid oil.
The bottle, however, featured a convincing graphic with a lemon and the text, “great lemon taste.” An employee vouched for the “great lemon taste,” proudly announcing that he takes 3 times the recommended amount ever day. He went on to describe exactly how he consumes such high amounts, mimicking the use of a giant spoon and clarifying that he does not have to drink anything afterwards to “wash it down.” No juice, no water, nothing. Just a “great lemon taste” lingering in his mouth for a few seconds, and he's done. He also threw in a bit about the company’s dedication to environmentally responsible practices.
I was sold. $25 later, I had my bottle of liquid oil and an angry wife claiming I wasted my money on what would surely taste like fish. She was not at all convinced by the lemon graphic. I repeated the sales pitch that convinced me to try it and got out my own giant spoon to prove her wrong.
Oh my god it was awful. It was an oily, lemony, fishy explosion in my mouth. Now when I burped, I felt like a seal who drank a can of Pledge®. Unable to bear such gustatorial abuse, I abandoned my hopes of finishing the bottle 6 days later. The bottle continues to reside in my fridge, taunting me every time I search for something to eat. I will start to throw it away, but keep it due to the guilt of wasting money and fish.
Today, I came up with an idea. Why not make fish cubes in the freezer? I bet I could get them far enough back in my throat to minimize the chance of tasting before swallowing. I am going to search for a suitable container to experiment with (a regular ice cube tray is way too big). Keep your fingers crossed for me, kind readers.
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| Christmas! |
[27 Dec 2007|02:27pm] |
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mood |
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 content |
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Maureen and I had a fantastic Christmas. We went to my parents’ house where we ate yummy foods (I had my mom make Thanksgiving food because Maureen’s family’s Thanksgiving food will never live up to my mom’s), baked gingerbread cookies, lounged about and watched TV, played with the dogs, etc. My mom made us a calendar with photos, which I’m excited about using. I’m also looking forward to trying some recipes out of the cookbook we got, Top Secret Restaurant Recipes; we’re going to start with P.F. Chang’s Orange Chicken.
We got lots of other fun stuff too, including multiple products to keep me warm (e.g. a nice KU pullover, an electric blanket) and some $ to get new clothes. We used the electric blanket last night. Each side has independent controls, which is much appreciated because I generate more body heat than Maureen. I set mine to 13, and she set hers to 16. During the night, I kicked my half off onto her. She woke up to the super-heat of 29 and found me shivering to the not-so-hot 0 (I say not-so-hot because as you may remember from science class, there is no cold, just lack of heat). I think I will try 8 tonight.
The guinea pigs got spoiled this year. My mom bought them a treat log that is supposed to taste like vanilla. I don’t think they’ve had vanilla before. One of our friends bought them some fake candy, which is blocks of wood wrapped in paper. The guinea pigs LOVE paper. They also got some loofahs shaped like baseballs, which is really quite cute because they can carry them around despite their mammoth size*.
I took the rest of the week off, which I hope to spend cleaning house and visiting friends I never see even though they only live like 30 minutes away. I also need to spend more time socializing the guinea pigs, as Samson III is on the verge of becoming feral. Maureen suggested I wear rubber gloves while handling them to prevent a rash (damn you allergies)...we’ll see how that goes.
Peace, love, and happiness as you enter the new year!
~A
*relative to their tiny body size--the balls are roughly the size of their heads
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| in free rainbows |
[16 Oct 2007|12:37am] |
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mood |
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 mellow |
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Radiohead has their new album, In Rainbows, up for grabs in a mp3 download format only (those who wish to have a physical copy to stroke lovingly will have to wait until December). Here's the cool part...you get to pick how much you pay for the download. I intended to pay 2 pounds, roughly $4, but could not locate my Capital One credit card (they eat the cost of converting currency, while my Visa check card would probably tack on an ass-rapingly high astronomical fee).
After 10 minutes of looking for my [hopefully lost, not stolen] credit card, I realized I threw a lot of cash at Radiohead during my teenage/young adult years and felt completely justified downloading their new album for free (especially since their last album was quite lackluster...I even bought the special edition, which is basically a pain in the ass since it doesn't fit into a regular CD holder). I don't know if the free aspect is making it sound better, but 4 songs in I'm enjoying In Rainbows quite a bit.
I should be in bed. My getting on a schedule plan is off to a shaky start.
And as a happy ending to this not-so-exciting post, I am please to report I got almost 9 billable hours at work today. Score!
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| 6 things... |
[14 Oct 2007|10:55pm] |
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mood |
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 happy |
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Stolen from ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) xmorningxrosex
The rules are easy, just post 6 things that recently made you happy!
Then tag 6 people and force them to post this meme on their LJs. Because it is good. Everyone needs a little happiness once in awhile.
- Maureen! (approximate time: 12 hours ago) Waking up to her was a wonderful way to start my morning.
- Draining my iPod battery completely! (approximate time: 2 minutes ago) After reading something about how to extend the battery life of electronics, I am committed to running down the battery and then charging it back up all the way. My battery is gonna last forever beotch!
- Setting my alarm clock! (approximate time: 15 minutes ago) After a rough two weeks, I am going to get back on a morning gym routine.
- Thinking about the future! (approximate time: 20 hours ago) I looked at real estate listings online. I think it might be nice to own a house someday.
- My parents! (approximate time: 2 days ago) We went out for dinner in celebration of Maureen's birthday. I ate fried catfish.
- Fried catfish! (approximate time: 2 days ago) The catfish deserves its own bullet point. I rarely have the opportunity to consume fried fish anymore...for some reason, the only fish I enjoy eating in fried form are types of fish I have caught myself at some point in my life. When I lived with my parents, I ate it a lot during the summer. Now I think I only have it once or twice a year.
- A random magazine! (approximate time: 7 hours ago) I got a strange magazine in the mail that really deserves its own entry. Perhaps I will have time to write about it later in the week.
- Knowing html! (approximate time: 10 seconds ago) I realized I wrote 7 things since I was using the list tags instead of writing out each number. Getting an accidental extra happy thing (which has now blossomed into two extra happy things) is most excellent. High five!*
Tag yourselves motherfuckers.
*Said in Borot voice
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| Misc. medical woes |
[30 Jul 2007|10:33pm] |
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mood |
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drained |
] |
Last night, I saved Maureen a visit to the ER with my mad butterfly bandaging skillz and ability to make finger splints out of household objects. An unfortunate encounter with a bread knife left her with a gash to the bone. We had a first aid kit I put together to take on vacation...it still shocks me how much easier it was to respond in a quick, effective manner due to that first aid kit. I just snatched it out of the closet and went to work. I am 100% pro-first aid kit now. Maybe I'll go give a talk to elementary school children or something.
My allergies are sucking the life out of me. I don't have a doctor here yet...I think I might just look at my insurance plan and pick the one closest to my job/house. Not the best way to select a medical practitioner, but it'll get er done.
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